A Black Female Medical Student

Archive for July 2012

Hey! I’m on MICU. Its cool. I like the fact that the patients have a higher acuity over the floor patient, you sit and make decision on things that could be life and death on a patient.

I’m working my way up to more autonomy. One thing I do like is the fact that my notes have improved A LOT, compared to 3rd yr. I thought I could write a decent note at the end of third year, but I noticed that I’ve become more detail oriented over this past year (something I really struggled with my first 3 yrs of med school… the devil is in the details. I tell ya. SMH). So I’m happy about that.

But yes, I do put orders in… and pend them. So that my resident can do them. But I like the fact that my resident seems to trust my clinical judgement, which is cool.

I need to work on my speed. I am sooooo slow lol. Tomorrow I’m going to work on speeding things up a lot. Not worried about my knowledge. I think itsĀ  pretty good. I’m surprised out how much I remember, given the fact that I’ve been gone so long. I’ve been reading from the ICU Book by Marino. The big one. Just a chapter a day. I like it. Its pretty clear and concise.

My only thing is that I don’t feel like my attending really likes me, but there’s not much I can do about it. I’m not the most chipper person. I’m not angry either LOL, but I do have problems communicating the fact that I actually want to be there to my attendings. Ppl think I’m bored a lot.

I don’t know what to really do about that. I’m totally involved in patient care, knowledgeable on my patients, and my notes are very good. I’m so tired of faking the BS, at this point in my life, I couldn’t fake enthusiasm if I tried. Plus I don’t think that I really act any different than anyone else… I just have a very serious face LOL. If I was blond and white, I think ppl would be a little more open to my personality set. But I’m not. I’m black and dark-skinned. And my default face is one of boredom. LOL, there is nothing I can do about that.

But. Yeah. Also… all these random e-mails. Ugh. I am so nervous about residency applications…. I’m more worried about my evals over my next couple of rotations. I had wanted to try to get a letter from my MICU attending. I think when the attendings switch over next wk… I’ll let the new one know that I am not bored… my default face just indicates such. Maybe that will help.

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Called myself tryna work out. Nearly killed myself.

Seriously. I have chest pain. This ish is scary.

WTF was I thinking.