A Black Female Medical Student

Posts Tagged ‘black

Helloooooo!

Its been forever since I’ve updated I know. I’m sorry. Finals happened, and then post-finals partying, and then I had to travel home…. and now I’m here. Home. Again.

Its kinda boring, but nice. The last time I was here, I still had studying to do so that I could gear up for finals. Now…. I don’t have anything to do, but yet I still have lots to do.

I went to the bookstore last night and bought 6 books:

1. The Shack, by William P. Young. I finished this one today. Good, solid book. Its basically all of Young’s ideas on the Trinity and other aspect of theology hidden within a fictional novel, and also apparently the subject of quite a bit of controversy. Partly because for about 3/4 of the book God is portrayed by a large, stereotypical, black women (seriously, I almost put the book down after that. It wasn’t just that she was big and black, but that was she was so stereotypical, and I’m tired of seeing black women portrayed that way in the media. I mean, she was in the kitchen barefoot 1/2 the time, and speaking incorrect English the other 1/2. ) There are also some arguments that the book isn’t theologically sound, but then again, what book ever really is (besides the Bible, of course.) I thought that the spirit and the purpose behind the book was good, and that it could be a wonderful evangelical tool if used correctly. The writing was kinda iffy, but the content and plot made up for it.

2. Candide by Voltaire. I don’t know. I walked past it by the bookstore and I decided to pick up. I’ve always liked satire, and he’s supposed to be one of the best.I’m reading it now. I might post a review when I’m done.

3. Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau. This has been on my reading list since my junior year of high school. I heard both Gandhi and MLK loved it.

4. The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. I’m liking this dude more and more everyday. Oh, and I saw Michelle Obama by the way! It was just her in a motorcade, riding past, but I was so happy about it. Especially since I know they will have moved to DC by the time I make it back to Chicago. I also saw another Obama motorcade when I was riding to O’Hare airport, but I couldn’t make out which one it was.

5. War & Peace by Tolstoy. Lol. Don’t even ask me why. I just know I don’t want to have died without having read it and I may as well do it now. I don’t know that I will have it finished by the end of break; not because of its length, but because it looks SO BORING. Lol. But I will have it finished by the end of 2009. How about that?

I also have 3 DVD’s that I bought over Thanksgiving break and never got a chance to watch: The Last King of Scotland, When Harry Met Sally, and Borat. They were all on sale for like $5 so I decided to get them. I bought The Last King of Scotland because I heard it was good, When Harry Met Sally because I feel like I’ve missed out on the many media references to it for long enough, and Borat because I nearly died laughing when I saw it the first time.

Also, I plan to work on my French. There is this awesome website called LiveMocha.com. Where you can learn any of 6 (I think???) languages for free. I figure between my (albeit meager) background in French, one classmate that I have who is fluent, and LiveMocha I should get to conversational level by summer. I want to go to Haiti on this scholarship that my school is offering.

So yeah, that’s it: books, movies, and French.

Oh yeah, and then there’s ice-skating, seeing all my friends brand new babies, Christmas and New Year’s.

I’m looking forward to it.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!!!

So…. its cold and snowy in Chicago, and I’m right smack in the middle of finals. Blah.

I’ve been here in Panera studying with my big sib (who is so awesome by the way…. I like her so much) ALL DAY. But its not too bad! Nice ambiance, good food and good company make for happy studying.

If only the weather weren’t so…. stupid.

One thing that has (negatively) surprised me about Chicago is how much it snows.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be cold. I just didn’t know HOW cold. It was in the TEENS yesterday! The TEENS!

Its ridiculous! I was happy and enchanted after the first snowfall, but since like… Monday its just been snowing incessantly and in all different kinda ways! Snow flurries, snow showers, sleet, freezing rain….

I find it annoying. I’m used to getting like one big snow and everybody gets all excited and then its over. Not this unending…. froth.

And the worst thing about it is that we get all this snow and no snow days.

But yeah.

So in other news….

I went to the club last night. It was fun, I guess. The music was good, but there were just all kinds of shady characters milling about. I mean sketchy people all around! And I have never seen so many (seemingly) straight guys dance with each other and seem happy about it. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but that behavior is generally reserved for females. And, dude, they were amp’d.

But the music was good…. I think I would have had more fun if I was just a little more drunk. Only cuz my inhibitions would have been lowered. I was dancing, but not too much. I just had this lingering fear in the back of my mind that if I got too jiggy with it, one of those shady characters would have tried to dance with me.

I went with a one other female classmate and a whole bunch of male classmates. They were having fun using the “I’m a medical student at [insert name of prestigious unversity here]” line. The girls were just loving it.

And the guys were just loving it that the girls were just loving it.

Sketchy.

But yeah, thats really about it. I’ll be back home again in a week and I’m really trying to do something fun and refreshing. No more loafing. Maybe I’ll go visit my sister or visit some of my friends that I have scattered about the US.

Anyways, its back to studying for me.

Smooches!

I go to a Top 20 institution, and most of my classmates came from prestigious undergrads; I have quite a few classmates from Harvard. I definitely felt intimidated when I first got here, because I went to a small HBCU in the South. I loved my experience, and if I had the choice, I would do it again. Still, my undergraduate experience was very different from a lot of my classmates, some of whom had no idea what an HBCU is.

I had a conversation with the Dean of Multicultural Affairs, and he told me that the medical school had not had very good success with graduates from HBCUs, leading me to think that the small representation of HBCU here might be intentional. While they have had students from HBCUs in the past, they have not had many, and I believe I am the only student they have ever had from my undergrad.

Anyways, I do feel some pressure to do well here, because my performance here could very well influence their attitude towards HBCU students in the future. I would hate for a talented and hardworking student’s application to be called into question because of my performance here. So I tried to work a little harder this week. I think it paid off, because I scored higher than the class average for the first time on the test this week.

Unfortunately we’re almost done with Anatomy so it doesn’t mean much, but I hopefully will take this attitude with me through the rest of the year. I came in here with the expectation that I wasn’t as competitive a student as the rest of my classmates, and that’s wrong. While there is a steeper learning curve to step up to, that is the case for anyone who enters med school. We’re all new at this lol.

My lack of confidence in myself and my abilities isn’t new. There was a point in my life when I had a very low self-esteem and was always putting myself down. My self-esteem isn’t low anymore, but many people do disparage the education at HBCUs, and I think I allowed myself to internalize that.

We may have come from different places, some of my classmates may have come from prestigious backgrounds, some from lots of money, some from exotic places, but we’re all here. My experiences may be different, less glossy, but it doesn’t make them any less relevant. I forgot that, and I think it showed in my grades.

Either way, I’m on an upward trend, and I believe it will continue. My goal is to score above 90% on my next 2 exams. I mean, above average is cool, but not cool enough.  I have one next Friday and the other a week from Monday so I have quite a bit of studying to get through.

Oh and in response to that last comment, in the words of Eric Cartman: “Whateva! Whateva! *snaps fingers*, I do what I want!”

I decided to start a new blog today. I have done this in the past, tried and failed several times. But it won’t happen this time…. I have a feeling about this one.

I think I’m a maverick. I looked up the definition today:

“One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.adj. Being independent in thought and action or exhibiting such independence…”

Anyways, thats where the blog title came from. Cuz I be maverickin’. It can be used as a verb, you know (wiki definition) or so says Wikipedia.

A little bit about me. Right now, I am without money. My credit card company decreased the limit on my card WITHOUT WARNING (click here!) and my phone company cut off my cell phone bill so I can’t call them to cuss them out. I also can’t get my phone back on because my credit card is now useless so…. yeah, I’m in a pretty pathetic situation.

I am also looking for a place to live in a little place called Chicago starting August 1. Today is July 5 and I still have NO IDEA where I will be living. I have even less time than it sounds because I’m going to Miami on July 23-27…. a trip that I still don’t know how I will be paying for *tears*.

I got paid yesterday and my check was immediately swallowed up due to my past few months of bad spending habits and irresponsible financial choices (see, I can take ownership of my faults). It sucks because this should have been a weekend of GREAT SHOPPING for me…. there were so many AMAZING sales this weekend *sobs*.

Alas, I am reaping the consequences of my actions. I know its my fault, but I didn’t think life after college would be like this. Bush and his abysmal leadership skills have wreaked havoc on the economy and my life! And I know I’m not the only one who’s crying. At least I got into med school…. can’t tell you how many friends I have wandering around aimlessly and jobless… and broke. Just last summer our eyes were starry-eyed and full of hope.

And now….. oh well.

Anyways as Ella said so beautifully, goodnight my love.

OH AND GO SEE HANCOCK! Saw it last night and LOVED IT!