A Black Female Medical Student

I talked with one of my mentors today. He told me he has cancer. The same cancer that his father died from. It was so sad to hear.

Life is so weird. And full of surprises. Not good ones either. There is no way to really prepare for what life throws at you. I’m starting to really understand that now. But I don’t really know how to deal with that information.

So much of my life planning goes towards my career. Its like only in my career do I think ahead of time, and plan and ruminate. And sometimes over my hair. I kind of just hope and assume everything else in my life will just fall into place. And that couldn’t be farther than the truth. But I need to plan and focus on my life in other areas as well, include my general happiness and enjoyment. I sacrifice so much for my studies. Why not for my personal life as well?

I would love to travel, but I rarely have the opportunity to. Partially b/c it is so hard for me to find someone to travel with. Also, I have no idea where my passport is.

A good thing for me to do would be to explore the little neighborhoods around here. There are polish towns and all kinds of little stores. Especially now that I will be having weekends off till the end of the year.  I think I’ll spend my time just looking around, exploring. Its probably a good way for me to get used to being in new places by myself.

I don’t know. I just wanna enjoy life. I really am beginning to see how brief life is. Absolutely nothing is promised to us humans. Not happiness, not health, not life itself. Not even good grades if you study hard. sigh.

Okay so here I am. On Family Medicine. Today ended pretty early. Tomorrow will end pretty late. I would like to get a few things done today. Namely, get some reading done, edit my PS for my MPH application, and get an early start on the presentation I have next week.

I ran into a couple of fourth years over the past couple days. They are so funny. Their perspective is hilarious.

My new crush texted me today. Or yesterday. I really have no idea when b/c my phone was off for a minute. He put a smiley face in the body of the message…. which also made me smile. 🙂

I don’t know how excited to be, b/c to be honest, the idea of getting to know another guy has me weary. I mean, b/c u do all this work, you invest all these emotions, you give all this love…. but i don’t know. we’ll see. i’m attracted to a few different people right now, so if it works out, it works out. if it doesn’t…. oh well. one guy i’m attracted to, i’m totally incompatible with anyways. we disagree on everything.

Lately i’ve felt the desire to just date around a lot. Especially while I’m still young and vibrant. kind of sow my oats so to speak. Then I feel like I would be able to settle down and just focus on a husband and on making us happy.

If I’m not being worked to death during residency that is.